Monday, October 18, 2010

What has changed?

So, I took a zenprov workshop this weekend. I feel like my life will never be the same. That sounds rather dramatic, but it is true. I got up early today to work on practicing some of the things that I learned. More to come on this later.

Sunday, July 11, 2010


So, I found a new job. I am SO excited. I feel like this is the new page that I have been needing for MONTHS! No more crying. No more pity party. No more (or much less, haha) anger. I have been so angry... well... no reason to be now. I will be working at a job that gives me authority, sweet hours, the pay I deserve, vacation, (i think) benefits (will find out on friday), and a decent work week. I will be working with 3 REALLY old ladies (like 95, 87, and ?) that are mildly mentally retarded. I am so happy about everything. My friendships seem to be getting more stable, and I have, lately been able to handle more of them. My stomach pain is receding. I'm getting done with summer school, and in the 1 (of 2) class I care about, I am getting a really nice A. I am getting a B or C in the other one. I don't know because the teacher is NOT WITH THE PROGRAM. I don't really care either, as long as I pass. You know, Maybe I will post my essay... It is for my diversity class. I am a bit self conscious about it... it totally shows my hippie roots. :D Well, I just decided that I will not post it now. It is 10 pages after all... kinda long. I want to thank anybody and everybody who has dealt with my shit, helped me, or hugged me this year. It has been a rough one, and every single hug, open ear, and forgivness for my behavior has helped me get through it without destroying any relationships.
Another cool thing about the job is that I can get my eyebrow pierced again. :D

Thursday, July 8, 2010


Does anybody know of any jobs that are open that I qualify for? I'm looking.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010


I seem to be living a life that is too full. I have no time to myself where I should not be doing something else. I am also having a great time, until I cry. So far, 25 has sucked. Well, to be fair it has been the entire year. F-you 2010. Don't get me wrong. I am seriously having so much fun. I laugh so often. But, I get easily discouraged. My hormones are going bonkers, but then, they have always been bonkers, so I don't know if they are now normal, or not. My aunt told me I needed to get laid today. I laughed and said, "I did." She said that I needed to get laid again. I am not sure that that is the most sound advice that she has ever given me. I feel like I am 19 again. I am having the same conflicting emotions, the same wild thoughts, I am in the same school. I have been lashing out randomly at people again. I know that that is not the way to maintain good relationships. Poor John, he puts up with so much of my crap. I am not as TERRIBLY depressed now as I was then, but I would like to think that I learned something the first time around. I am able to fight it off... I am so fortunate to have so many awesome people to admire and ask for advice if I need. I am not putting them on a pedestal, by the way. I know that those people are normal (ha) everyday people. I have 2 summer classes. 1 is great, 1 sucks. I need to make more money...
Well, my next big thing to look forward to is my rafting/float trip. I scheduled it, and it is a cheap weekend vacation. I am excited. I hope my boys can go. They need it, more then they know. Maybe it is a girl thing. I sometimes know when they need something, even when they are just figuring it out. It would be good for all of us to spend relaxed time together too.
Now, if I could just figure out what the hell is going on in my relationships. I don't mind if it is nothing, but I don't like being played with. I don't think it is unreasonable to know. Maybe it is. I don't have the most experience ever with relationships of the romantic variety. Maybe 4, or 5? I don't know exactly. Clearly they made a huge impact on my life...
I am tired of drama. Why don't people just love each other.

Sunday, May 16, 2010


I never thought that I would say this, but I FORGOT how great it was to sing in a choir. I got music yesterday for a concert today, and it was lovely. One rehearsal, One concert. But I listened to the AMAZING Joyce Steeby sing and it reminded me how Beautiful it could be. I don't know how I forgot. Dale Shetler is retiring from KCKCC after 20 years and I sang in his alumni choir. We only sang 2 songs but during the second one, Dale STOPPED CONDUCTING to listen, because it was THAT lovely. I miss it. There is NOTHING like it. I am going to FIND a choir to be in next semester. OMG. I need it. I am so excited. I love to sing. Can't believe I forgot. Maybe that's what college does to you. Burns you out. Well, it has been 2 years since I sang in a choir and I am ready to do it again!

Monday, February 22, 2010

Olive Juice

So we had Olive Juice's first improv show as a group on the 13th. It was in Improv Thunderdome. The experience was really good for me personally. When the show was over, I was extremely disappointed about it. Mostly about the final scene. It was horrid, and there was no way to escape from it. The edits were missed. The content was crass. There was no high point to edit on. The final edit, was the ONLY medium high point in the entire scene. To my mind. That scene had no redeeming qualities. As for the rest of it... I honestly don't think that it was that bad.
OJ did a doo-wop opening. It was great. We all had good stories relating to the suggestion which was 'Be Mine' from the candy hearts. When the opening was over, we went into scenes. The first few were okay... not amazing. We did a couple pretty good ones... Next- came the dirty. We covered everything from having sex with you own child, to being raped by toys, to Jesus Dildos, to child magazines smelling like sex, to racism. It was a little much. And by a little I mean a lot. And by a lot I mean that we were way over our head and COULD NOT figure out how to get out. In the middle of the smut, we had another doo-wop... it was great too. That, in hindsight, is funny because we were most worried about that.
Despite being Smut, the show wasn't bad. We had good emotional connections, Varying characters, good job raising the stakes and we stuck together. Dennis DuPont said that we made 'Bold Choices'. Tactful way of putting it. Dennis is nothing if not tactful. <3 .
Right after the show Trish and Nikki talked to us and told us that we did fine, we did make the audience uncomfortable.... I personally really appreciate the honest answer. They talked to us for a long time and I think that was quite generous. They were gentle with our egos. Which may or may not be fragile. I feel super grateful for the opportunity to be able to work with Trish, Nikki, and Megan. I also feel grateful to have Dennis to be honest (if tactful) with us. Moving on...

Things I will (hopefully) not do again:
  • Skip rehearsal to drink right before a show
  • Ask ahead of time if Shit and Fuck are okay to say... puts you in that mindset
  • Stop BEFORE elmo actually humps from behind
  • Edit if it is bad. Even if there is no high point. Cut my losses
  • Keep out of the gutter. It is okay to dip in, but not okay to set up residence
  • Keep up in my head during the Doo-Wop part. I must listen to the other's song
I'm sure there is more , but at this moment, can't think of anything else.

Things I will (hopefully) do again:
  • Make an emotional connection with my scene partners
  • Be playful
  • Continue to support my scene partners
  • Keep playing fun characters
  • Be myself during the monologue
  • Have fun
Again, I'm sure that there is more...

All in all. Good experience. I am working toward my goals for the year. I am performing in new locations. Soon, I will perform in Chicago, and hopefully I will get to play at the fishtank. Keep on Swimming, if you will forgive the pun.

Friday, January 8, 2010


Do you ever get a series of 3 or so songs stuck in your head All Day? No matter what? Nothing will get rid of them? Yeah, that was my day. :D

Sunday, January 3, 2010

Happy New Year

Well, This year is going to be very interesting for sure... I categorize my life into three main sections. 'Home', Work, and School. I have separate goals for each of these things...

School: If there is ANY way that I can get into my keyboard class, I will take it and I will graduate in may. Clearly this is the most wanted of any other scenario. Keyboard kicks my butt, but I am READY (SO READY) to be done with school for awhile. I have one other class to take as well, but it is an independent study, and I just have to find someone that will sponsor me.

Work: Well, work is going fine. Until I am out of school and can be available the hours for the exact job that I want, I have to take what I can get. Although, at the end of January, I will have been at Goddard for a year and will ask for a raise... we will see how that goes. If I don't get it, and I get my degree, (assuming I get into the piano class) then I will ask again at the end of may. If I don't get it then, then I will be finding other employment, because I am worth way more than I am getting paid for.
I also am going to start working in the Roving Imp Coffee Shop. I will get paid on commission, so come and buy coffee from me. :D

'Home'- This sort of encompasses several aspects, even though I just clump it all together.
  • Family- I am going to make more time to spend with my brother Brian. I did not spend enough time with him this last year, and I am going to fix it.
  • Improv- my improv goals are extremely important to me. I am going to strive to play with different/more people and play it more spaces. I think that it will really help me to grow and become a better improviser. Also, I want to take several classes this year. I have now done improv for three years and I love it more every month. Not every year- it changes so much every month that there is no way that I can judge it by a yearly scale. I love it and can not imagine what my life would be without it and the people it has brought to my life. It makes life rich.
  • Home and Self- This is my big GOAL for the year: I will focus on HEALTH. That has so many meanings. Some of them: Eat better, try to exercise more, keep a cleaner house, shave at a decent interval, not to mention mental health... etc. All this will make me the healthier, happier person that I want to be.

Finally I want to remember the thing that I always say: If you don't laugh, you die. So you might as well laugh.
No matter how serious things seem, will they really be as bad in 5 years or 10? Laugh it away.