Tuesday, June 22, 2010


I seem to be living a life that is too full. I have no time to myself where I should not be doing something else. I am also having a great time, until I cry. So far, 25 has sucked. Well, to be fair it has been the entire year. F-you 2010. Don't get me wrong. I am seriously having so much fun. I laugh so often. But, I get easily discouraged. My hormones are going bonkers, but then, they have always been bonkers, so I don't know if they are now normal, or not. My aunt told me I needed to get laid today. I laughed and said, "I did." She said that I needed to get laid again. I am not sure that that is the most sound advice that she has ever given me. I feel like I am 19 again. I am having the same conflicting emotions, the same wild thoughts, I am in the same school. I have been lashing out randomly at people again. I know that that is not the way to maintain good relationships. Poor John, he puts up with so much of my crap. I am not as TERRIBLY depressed now as I was then, but I would like to think that I learned something the first time around. I am able to fight it off... I am so fortunate to have so many awesome people to admire and ask for advice if I need. I am not putting them on a pedestal, by the way. I know that those people are normal (ha) everyday people. I have 2 summer classes. 1 is great, 1 sucks. I need to make more money...
Well, my next big thing to look forward to is my rafting/float trip. I scheduled it, and it is a cheap weekend vacation. I am excited. I hope my boys can go. They need it, more then they know. Maybe it is a girl thing. I sometimes know when they need something, even when they are just figuring it out. It would be good for all of us to spend relaxed time together too.
Now, if I could just figure out what the hell is going on in my relationships. I don't mind if it is nothing, but I don't like being played with. I don't think it is unreasonable to know. Maybe it is. I don't have the most experience ever with relationships of the romantic variety. Maybe 4, or 5? I don't know exactly. Clearly they made a huge impact on my life...
I am tired of drama. Why don't people just love each other.